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Summary: In my journey to redefine my blog’s purpose, I’ve realized it’s become a repository of facts, lacking personal essence. Drafting a piece on water consumption left me feeling unfulfilled. Inspired by Carl Jung’s unfiltered ‘Black Books,’ I’m embracing authenticity. This shift mirrors my quest for genuine healing and self-acceptance amid life’s upheavals.
I’d like to change up this space a bit. I feel like I’ve slightly lost my way on this blog. Without me realising, it has become a place to come to access facts, figures and knowledge. I am in the process of drafting a post on water consumption and hydration. I feel it’s an important topic and one that I will publish on my blog at some point. However, as I’ve been drafting it, a feeling of unfulfillment and dissatisfaction has been creeping up on me. The post has left me thirsting for something else (pun intended!!).
What is missing? Me. In my heart, I feel that a true journey to healing is one that has to involve every facet of myself. I can’t hide myself behind pretty graphics and lovely charts anymore. I don’t want to pretend to be more (or less!) than I actually am. I’ve got to show the raw, unedited version of myself… To myself and those around me. That’s the only true path to wholeness, to healing. The learning is as much in the ‘failings’ as it is in the ‘successes’.
I am thinking about Carl Jung’s journey to wholeness. He had a very dark, yet totally inspiring, period in his life in the 1910s and 1920s. During this time, he collated his thoughts, experiences and inner teachings in a series of personal diaries that have now come to be known as the ‘Black Books’. Jung then decided to collate the material from these, refine it and chisel it into a perfect (and more socially acceptable!) format. This format is a beautiful manuscript that came to be known as the ‘Red Book’. Whilst I find the Red Book truly remarkable, having provided me with layers of spiritual enlightenment and synchronicities, I have always somehow also found it lacking. Something in me just couldn’t settle completely when I read it. Once I finally saw some of the contents of the Black Books for the first time, I understood why… His true soul, the true work, the mess and the turmoil that is spiritual transformation, was contained in the Black Books. Not the edited version but the real McCoy. The trials, the tribulations, the frustrations, the imperfections. All of that, along with the findings and the realisations, spoke to my soul in a way the Red Book in its completed form just didn’t.
And I now need to listen to my soul. Until now, this blog has been my Red Book. The edited highlights, with the polish and veneer held in place. But I’d like to get real and get messy. I need to show the wrong-turns as much as the right ones and learn from both.
To aid my journey inwards, I am meditating daily. Currently, it is for fifteen minutes. I am feeling called to do more but, for now, that will be what it is. I am praying. I also felt called to pick up and read a book that has been sitting on my bookshelf for a good few years… ‘Writing Down Your Soul: How to Activate and Listen to the Extraordinary Voice Within’ by Janet Conner. I am now actively engaging with writing down my soul everyday. I feel called to make art, sit in silence, dive into my inner world. I guess you could say that I am, in the words of Kelly Turner, ‘deepening my spiritual connection’ right now.
I am starting to think more deeply, more spiritually, about the battle that I feel has been raging inside me. I have spent my life trying to ‘knock myself into shape’. I was forever trying to work out how to push myself to do more, be more. I am now choosing to stop that. No more battles from within. I am seeking out peace instead. I am turning to self-love and deep acceptance of who I am. I am thinking about forgiveness, for myself and others. I am asking what it looks like to truly love yourself. For example, I am wondering what exercise and nutrition look like when they come from a place of love and peace. No more diets, no more demanding exercise plans. I have started to explore energy healing, with an interest in chakras and crystals coming into play.
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Natalie is a blogger with Type 1 Diabetes. Natalie's special gifts are questioning the status quo and being a rebel. She is using these gifts to question medical 'knowledge' and find a true cure for Type 1 Diabetes.
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