Perhaps A Response to Re-Feeding…?
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Summary: In her quest to heal from Type 1 Diabetes, the author imagined a journey of steady improvement but found herself facing unexpected setbacks. Despite her careful approach to avoid COVID-19, persistent exhaustion now plagues her, possibly due to a post-viral reaction, though she had no initial symptoms. Caroline Dooner’s insights on re-feeding fatigue resonate more with her experience, aligning with her transition from freeze to flight responses in pursuit of healing.
When I pictured healing from Type 1 Diabetes, I saw this wonderful image of me gorgeously improving in all areas of my life and flowing towards this wholeness that was natural and at peace. I thought the steps I took would make sense and that each step would build on the one before. Yep, that is not at all what I’m finding! Instead, I feel pretty exhausted. I feel unhealthy. I feel like I’m taking steps backwards on my journey. My life force, my chi, seems to have deserted me!
My exhaustion comes in waves but spends more time present in my body than absent. My body aches with fatigue for long periods each day. I asked my GP about this and his theory is that me, and a large swathe of the population, are suffering a post-viral reaction to an undetected level of COVID-19. I got sick without symptoms and am now suffering the consequences of that. He says that he is seeing a massive swathe of people each day in his clinic that are complaining of exhaustion. A post-viral reaction makes sense to him.
A post-viral reaction doesn’t make sense to me. I have been super careful about catching – not catching – COVID-19. I also don’t believe that I would have absolutely zero symptoms apart from the post-effects. Surely, if my body is reacting to something, it would react to the illness at every stage with both symptoms and a post-symptom effect??
For me, what makes much more sense is the explanation that Caroline Dooner provides in her book ‘The F*ck It Diet’. (I wrote here about this book and my experience of it.) Caroline explains that, when you start re-feeding your body, you are likely to encounter a period of fatigue, which could last for a period of months. She explains how this re-feeding enables the body to transition from a fight-flight response to a rest-repair response. It makes sense to me. My osteopath also has said (see my blog post here) how I am moving from a freeze response to a flight response. In my mind, I see that a body transitions from freeze to fight/flight to rest/repair. (I hope to get into this later using the work of Peter Levine to illustrate this.) So my body is transitioning towards a rest-repair phase and is consuming my physical and mental energy reserves to do it.
I have to say that my healing journey has really not been anything like I anticipated it to be. Rather than being a smooth build-up of healing experiences, it feels more like driving on a bumpy road along a mountain range, with the road switching back on itself frequently and sometimes not being able to see the summit at all. I do hold great optimism and I do feel my health, both physical and mental, improving with each month. It is that feeling that I hold onto when my drive along the road doesn’t seem to be tallying at all with my road map.
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Natalie is a blogger with Type 1 Diabetes. Natalie's special gifts are questioning the status quo and being a rebel. She is using these gifts to question medical 'knowledge' and find a true cure for Type 1 Diabetes.
