From A Crutch To A Restraint
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Summary: The author discusses how television was once her lifeline during severe depression, but now it’s time to break free. From therapy to rebuilding her life, she’s evolved. Limiting TV to weekends helped, but its emotional impact and numbing effect no longer align with her healing journey. It’s time to eliminate it for a more balanced life.
Television. My latest addiction to be kicked to the curb.
Nearly ten years ago, I was depressed. Severely depressed. I was so depleted of energy and life force that I could not get up off the sofa. I wanted to be a functioning, even respectable, member of the human race but I couldn’t do it. Life was too hard. I would spend whole days lying on that sofa, every ounce of me willing myself to… JUST. SIT. UP. I couldn’t do it. The idea of leaving the house was terrifying too. I couldn’t walk down my street. I was pervaded by feelings of unknown terror that I just couldn’t explain. All I knew was that the whole world was just too unsafe and I was too weak to be able to cope.
I spent my days watching TV. But the majority of programmes on the telly required too much from me… Following a complex plot or intricate dialogue was beyond me. It wasn’t that I was stupid, far from it, I just wasn’t well. But the chat show, ‘The Jeremy Kyle Show’, was my nectar. I watched repeats for five or six hours a day. It got me through. It was my lifeline and kept me in touch with the world.
Roll forward ten years, which included lots of therapy, some medication and a lot of rebuilding of my life, I am in a completely different place. Now, it’s time to give up the telly. The only time I watch TV now in my life is in the evening. I used to veg out most evenings watching it but I realised how much of my life I was wasting. I wanted to journal, do art, deepen the relationship with my husband, play board games… The telly was absorbing too much of my time. So my husband and I agreed to just keep telly to the weekends. My husband likes watching the telly, particularly movies, so I didn’t want to take that away from him.
This weekend-only telly routine suited me perfectly over the last year or two. However, it doesn’t sit right with me anymore. I have become more highly tuned to what is going on in my life. Consequently, I have become aware of the violence, the swearing and the drama I watch on the telly and its impact on me. Telly is successful because of the emotional sway it has. You enjoy being romanced, scared, deceived or shocked by the programme you watch. I don’t want to feel that way anymore. And I also don’t want to use the telly anymore for the numbing effect it has. If I’m tired or fed up or annoyed about something, I mong out in front of the telly to switch off. Not anymore.
So the next step on my healing journey is to eliminate the television. I’m sure that I will still watch it on occasion but I will be careful with it. On the whole, I will avoid the violent, the dark and the destructive. I am sure there will be the occasional movie or show that still choose to watch but it will the exception, rather than the rule. After all, a life well lived is one of balance and moderation in all areas.
Tell me, readers, do you find that television also has a negative impact on you, your mood or your life? Is it taking you away from activities you would find more meaningful? Have you found some strategies or implement some boundaries around telly consumption that you have found particularly helpful? Please share below!
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Natalie is a blogger with Type 1 Diabetes. Natalie's special gifts are questioning the status quo and being a rebel. She is using these gifts to question medical 'knowledge' and find a true cure for Type 1 Diabetes.
